A New Approach To Networking
Publié le 2 February 2012
Networking, in the employment sense of the word, can be a tiresome task. It’s most often an obligation, not something you really want to do. The word evokes images of meaningless small talk, stiffly formal handshakes and business card exchanges. The act can feel competitive, inauthentic and even irritating. In other words, networking is pretty much the worst.
Merriam-Webster defines networking as “the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.” Words like “productive” and “business” combine to form discomforting recipe for most students and job seekers. However, it’s not the words in the definition that are the problem—of larger concern are the words that are absent.
In almost every in-depth career exploration session I’ve done over the past year, students have told me that it’s important to them to be doing something meaningful in their careers. They want to be fulfilled at some level by their work, whether that means making a difference in the world or in someone’s life, or satisfying some other deeply held personal value. In a way, their choice of career represents a manifestation of their core values. They don’t just want to do, they want to be.
Where is that sentiment expressed in the “cultivation of productive business relationships”? How does an hour of small talk and a stack of business cards at a career fair fit into the cultivation of a meaningful career?
It doesn’t, unless drastic changes are made to the definition of “networking” for job seekers. Better yet, we can ditch this traditional business lingo altogether in favour of a term far more descriptive of what we’re actually trying to do and how it fits into our own bigger picture.
That term is “relationship building.”
Where networking is about quantity, relationship building is about quality. Where networking is superficial, relationship building is inherently genuine. Where networking is something you have to go out and do, relationship building is something you’re always doing. Where networking is something people do to get ahead, relationship building is about mutual benefit and the sum being greater than its parts.
We are social creatures, even the introverts among us. Our desire to seek, build and maintain relationships with other humans is innate. “Networking” as it’s traditionally meant in the business sphere is a perversion of this natural tendency, one that fundamentally pits us against each other in a perpetual quest for the almighty dollar. There is no such core motivation when it comes to relationship building, which is fundamentally collaborative.
So, how can you stop networking and start relationship building? Here are three quick ideas:
FOCUS ON QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.
Building meaningful relationships is not about the number of business cards you collect or LinkedIn connections you gain. If you don’t know anything constructive about a person, what value does the “relationship” have for either of you? In contrast, if you are able to have a few meaningful conversations with people who share some of your values, it’s far easier to see how cultivating those relationships could lead to something mutually beneficial down the road.
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
When you do this, you’ll notice that people eventually start to return the favour. This results in great things like collaboration, mutual referrals and moral satisfaction. When you’re more concerned with getting ahead and how other people fit into your carefully constructed career plan, not only are you focusing on an incredibly narrow portion of each person’s value, but you’re creating one-dimensional relationships that are likely to collapse as soon as you get what you were after.
BE GENUINE ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY AND VALUES.
Forget about “being perfect,” or making the perfect first impression with your flawless appearance, impeccable manners and memorized introductory script. If you want to create a genuine relationship, it has to start with you sharing an authentic piece of yourself. Embrace your personality and share a bit of your core values—if there’s a wide enough gap between your genuine self and someone else’s, it’s probably not a relationship worth having for either of you, anyway. In short, respect what you’re bringing to the table. By focusing on quality, contribution and genuineness, you’ll be creating and maintaining some very productive and meaningful relationships in no time.
You’ll never have to network again! CO
By David Lindskoog
DAVID LINDSKOOG is a career advisor at Simon Fraser University and a regular CO blogger.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT:
sfu.ca, careeroptionsmagazine.com
